status update 1.21.10
woooo. its been awhile. and it’s not like i haven’t had anything to say, i’ve just been ridiculously busy. so, where to start?
oh RIGHT.
1) i’m OFF THE SEROQUEL. how stoked am i? (and how stoked is my husband?) i met with Dr. Bat about 2 weeks ago for our monthly soiree, and she said that yes, indeed, i could discontinue it. so i pulled the remaining pills from my bag and slapped them on her desk. i asked her if it was okay to go “cold turkey” and she nodded. LIAR. i didn’t sleep for three days. for real. i had stopped drinking coffee and everything. another positive upshot from my appointment with Dr. Bat is she (begrudgingly it seems) said that i’m probably not bipolar. ya THINK? i got a good chuckle from that. i have a boatload of blood work to get done, however, and it includes fasting. boo.
2) even though my anxiety is still pretty high and i’ve had some small incidents of panic attacks, she didn’t change the Neurontin or the Celexa, but added Wellbutrin (which i’ve been on several times over the years, but in a different cocktail). its only been about 2 weeks, so i’m not really noticing anything different.
3) because the Seroquel Monster is dead & buried, my husband is ridiculously happy to “have his wife back”. our relationship has improved dramatically recently.
4) my boss announced to me yesterday that she wants me to travel to NY for a day trip/work thing. NEXT WEEK. i’m not looking forward to it. i’ve never been interested in City Life, and i’m anxious just thinking about it, as i’ll be travelling alone and meeting up with them at the venue. i felt a little railroaded into having to go, which again, makes me uneasy. plus, i appreciate some warning.
5) things are going well with my therapist. we’re at a point where i’m probably going to make our visits once a month, and not every two weeks. while i’m not out of the woods, i’m definitely out of crisis mode.
am i happy? i dunno. i’m not crying, or overly sad, or feeling depressed at the moment. quite frankly, i’m still really lethargic, forgetful and unmotivated. more like a holding pattern of status quo.
(for the two, possibly three, people reading…i’m sorry for the delay in posting. won’t happen again. pinky swear.)
Ahhhh. Good to see you’re back and doing better. I’m thinking the NY thing is a good thing. We all need a change of scenery once in a while, even if it is too quick. Question to ask yourself – even given enough warning, would you still feel ready?
to answer your question, no probably not. in all honesty, i’ve always been stressed when having to go to NY.
thanks for prompting me to get my butt back in gear.